Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Great Valentine's Fire of 2013

...well, it wasn't that great, but entirely laughable and now I can be mocked for all eternity.

And so the story goes:

I like to light a candle on my bathroom counter while I get ready in the morning to "set the mood" for the day -- you know, good juju and stuff.  SO, there's a candle lit... I remember suddenly to go get Nick's Valentine's card to take with me so I can fill it out during the day because after work we're doing our Valentine's Day gift trade.  Upon grabbing the plastic grocery bag storing the card and a classy pack of new underwear, I set it on the bathroom counter so I would remember to take it with me.  Then I head back to the bedroom to battle the great debate of my everyday - what to wear to work.  I'm already running late [shocker!] so the pressure to pick out my outfit is on... and that's when the smell hits me, burning plastic.  At first, I think nothing of it and then slowly the realization sets in and I think to myself, "Self?  You should probably go see what that smell is."  So I head urgently back to the bathroom, only to see that I set a small, so-small-it's-almost-not-even-worth-telling-you-about, fire.

The plastic bag, or what remains of it, is melted and still on fire all over the bathroom counter.  It's melted on and in the candle.  It's melted all the way to the enveloped Valentine's card inside.  It's melted down and still burning... and now the underwear is on fire.  [Besides a camp fire, it's the first fire I've ever set that was not on purpose, so, I'm not entirely reacting yet.]  I decide to blow on it.  That did nothing.  Though it's small, all the fire safety tips you learned in Girl Scouts in 1993 run through your mind, but they don't register.  I contemplate 'stop, drop & roll', but I'm not on fire my bathroom counter is.  Finally [duh!] water and bye-bye fire.

Burned pack of undies?  Trash.  Burned bag particles?  Trash.  Burned card and envelope?  Trash... BUT then I get to thinking, you know, this is almost too good to pass up - SO I trash the envelope, it's burned beyond recognition anyways, but the actual card is salvageable and full of memories! ...and depicted below.

The card is blank inside and I've filled it with awesome cliche love sayings that have to do with fire.

-My heart burns only for you.
-You light up my life.
-Our love is too hot for words.
-You melt me.
-My loins are on fire[This one, slightly inapropro, BUT it applies because I literally set my underwear (pack) on fire. HA!]

Nick, my boyfriend, since you don't know, loves a good, sarcastic, cheesy joke.  SO I can't wait to give him this card.  I already told him about what happened to which he replied by singing: 'Caitlyn started the fire!' sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire".  He'll definitely get a kick out of this!


1 comment:

  1. So sorry about your fire. So glad you are ok. It does make a good story and will probably be a Valentines you will remember! Hope all is well there. We are all hanging in there:) Oh yeah Annie got a mission call to serve in Tahiti. We are all so excited for her!